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West Wilts Golf Club Seniors’ Section Captain’s Away Day
Some 42 bleary eyed members of the Seniors’ Section drifted into Bulbury Woods Golf Club deep in the Dorset Countryside.
It was clear that Mr Bounce’s dictum to arrive by 0845 hours had reached deep into the souls of the assembled throng as we all on time, more or less. The obligatory coffee and bacon rolls duly appeared and were delivered to the tables; what a joy to see happy and smiling staff at work. After copious cups of coffee/tea we were treated to a detailed briefing by Mr Bounce; to be frank most went under the table. I would have said over my head but I’m tall and he isn’t. Anyway we all dutifully listened and were left with no illusions or was it delusions; I had already lost the will to life.
Mr Cheerful was charged with issuing the scorecards; more confusion ensued but was quickly and amicably resolved. Next up was the Putting Competition organised by Mr Cheerful who at times looked a little frazzled but manfully, or should that be playfully soldiered on despite the stentorious instructions from Mr Noisy, the Starter, on the 1st Tee.
Although humid and warm throughout the day there was little need for sunscreen or parasols. Plenty of sartorially challenged members wore shorts and as ever Mr Noisy was challenged in every respect. The course was a trial for some and the less said about the golf the better. There can be no doubt that a significant number of balls were dispensed into the undergrowth to await retrieval by Mr Greedy.
Post golf activities centred on the terrace where many tall/short/unamusing tales abounded. We even had a group photograph where Mr Grumble tried to take centre stage only to be rebuffed by Mr Bounce. We all then traipsed into the dining room decked out as a wedding venue with LED tracer lights and walls coved in netting; totally inappropriate for us hairy golfers.
Before we knew it Mr Bounce was on his soap box again and the prize giving ceremony started; sadly, there were no pretty women to kiss the recipients a la Tour de France. Next year Mr Cheerful needs to take positive action on this omission and blow up dolls will not be acceptable. Mr Good was on hand to control the proceedings and at times looked rather bemused. There were the usual whoops, hollers and gasps of astonishment as the names of the winners and the odd loser were declared. Most recipients showed grace and gratitude as bounteous gifts were hurled their way; one was a bit miffed but quick action by Mr Careful resolved the issue. The list of prize winners is overleaf
In conclusion a rather successful day out with the inevitable winners and losers. I have no doubt that some of the scoring will be a topic of conversation over the next few weeks as Dads Army gathers for the Roll Ups. Well done to Mr Bounce and his team of helpers.
Mr Money looks on in amazement as Mr Grumble sinks a short putt.
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